Monday, October 5, 2015

Seen on Facebook

Okay, let me put this up front first. I am not the greatest when it comes to the English language, but I can hold my own. We all are guilty one way or the other of mispronouncing words, and in the case of the internet, hitting the wrong key. That is especially true when we're commenting on stuff using everyday dialect and mannerisms, whether it's in Dominica or among Dominicans. However, those of us with some smarts try to stick close to what it's really supposed to be. But there are some among us who really, REALLY butcher the language. Let me introduce you to one.

Say hello to a character who calls himself "Vipoweride Joseph".

Mr. Joseph is a prolific blogger on Facebook, commenting on just about anything that has to do with Dominica. He is especially active pushing the Labour party line, defending the Skerrit administration and vilifying anyone who dares have a dissenting view on things that government does; no one's shoes is more red than his. Mr. Joseph took it upon himself to attack our esteemed surgeon Dr. Dale Dangleben who just returned stateside from a visit to Dominica. While there, the good doc took a tour of the islands' medical facilities and discovered conditions that can only be described as horrific. More on that in a subsequent post; back to Mr. Joseph. I have some word of advice for him; sir, since you're someone who pretends to be educated and worldly and who chooses to consistently vilify people or caution them in one way or the other, in your own "smart" way, please ensure that you do some spell-checking. It doesn't look good when you come up with this beauty:

This gem, friends, is without a doubt, from a person clearly cut out to be any village's idiot; pick any village, he'll fit right in, home sweet home for him. Mr. Idiot, sorry, I meant Joseph, says that he's known to have a "goat mouth". Newsflash! Only goats have goat mouths, so if you're known to have a goat mouth, you're a goat. He goes on in this masterpiece to say "now and in the hear future". Now, I'm presuming the word he wanted to use, which would make sense in a statement like this is, "near", but the "h" key is just above the "n" key on the keyboard, so I'll give him a pass, maybe he was using a Blackberry and he has a big hoof. Oops, I did it again sorry, I meant hand. BUT, I simply cannot overlook the masterpiece he delivers at the end;

"you are one-ed"

Now, I gave him a pass for the "hear" word, but this is ridiculous. One-ed? In place of "warned"? Not even close!

Someone, buy Professor Idiot a dictionary, PUHLEASEEE!

OH! and tell him to smile too, it helps.

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